I’ve found in my marriage that our sex life is a good indicator of our overall marital health. Do you find these aspects true in your marriage too? Consider this:
⦁ When there aren’t huge emotional barriers between my husband and I, sex is easy and feels like a time of deep emotional connection.
⦁ We’ve been ⦁ emotionally wounded in other areas (by our spouse or others) and sex seems unthinkable.
⦁ Pornography or ⦁ affairs have invaded the marriage and broken trust.
⦁ We have sex with our spouse, but the intimacy is gone and ⦁ sex simply has become a physical release devoid of relational connection.
We enter marriage with hearts full of hope and excitement because we’ve spent hours investing in our relationship (think date nights, time alone to talk, etc).
Then we get married, and suddenly as the years go by (and we become distracted by other good things like a career, kids, or even ministry), our marriage may not seem as bright and shiny with optimism anymore. In fact, it may seem lackluster and simply limp along as we focus the bulk of our emotional energies toward other pursuits.
That’s why date nights and regular scheduled time alone together are so important! We must make intentional investments in our relationship should we want them to stay vibrant and growing.
Consider this: Do your thoughts, actions and schedule demonstrate that you’ve allowed a career, kids (or other potentially good things) to come before your marriage?
It’s so easy to let this happen! And we can come up with a thousand excuses, but we must find creative ways to intentionally invest in our marriages
Here are four ideas:
⦁ Take ⦁ 15 minutes to chat each day (⦁ here’s what my husband and I do)
⦁ Plan regular date nights
⦁ Plan weekends away/vacations
⦁ Invest in other intentional time together (such as participating in a hobby or home improvement projects together)
Hebrews 13:4 tells us to “give honor to marriage and remain faithful to one another in marriage.” We must nurture our relationships in order to honor them and to stay faithful!
What to Do When You Discover That Your Marriage Exhibits These Signs
I know these are heavy and difficult-to-discuss topics!
Please know that I’m praying for you if you’ve read those and realized that, yes, your marriage may be headed for trouble.
Can I challenge you to take these next steps?
1. Pray for clarity and deep understanding of what’s going on. Ask God for His great wisdom about what’s really going on in your marriage!
I know these issues can seem huge and insurmountable!
But if you find yourself seeing several signs that your marriage may be headed for trouble, don’t be overwhelmed by the huge mess you may see.
Get help and make those first baby steps today toward hope and healing.