Being a pastor can be tough for many reasons. One of the more pressing causes of this difficulty would be the pressure that being in ministry brings to a minister’s family — more specifically to his or her kids.
For a majority of my childhood, I was a pastor’s kid, and though it may seem that that doesn’t have to be a big deal, it was. The pressure is real for pastors’ kids and it’s not something that should be taken lightly.
1 Timothy 3:4-5 says, “[An overseer] must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church.” Interesting how a call to be an overseer or pastor actually has qualifications that pertains to his kids. No other job has that.
It can be tough being a pastor’s kid. Here are five of the most common things that pastor’s kids struggle with most.
Some people forget that pastors’ kids are voluntary members of a church and not paid staff. We don’t include their services in the pastors’ salary so it would be unfair to demand too much time, commitment and skills from them. If anything, what is demanded of a volunteer should be what is demanded of pastors’ kids and nothing more.
There is a robust stock of churchgoers who have a set notion of how pastors’ kids should dress, act, talk, post on social media and behave in school. When this reaches pastors’ kids, it can get very frustrating and can cause unnecessary pressure.
Calling to ministry
It’s not always that the children of ministers will become vocational workers for God’s kingdom, but when it is one’s call it becomes difficult to respond to it. When I first heard the call from God to enter into vocational ministry, the biggest challenge was the fact that my father was the former pastor of the church and just the thought of hiding under his shadow haunted me.
Socializing with their age group`
Because of the nature of the work of pastors — having to visit homes, go to parties, attend funerals and the like — the children of pastors can often be exposed to many social events where not a lot of kids their age are present. This can become a challenge for many pastor’s kids and can even lead to frustration and unwillingness to participate in their parents’ affairs.
When pastors are busy, so are their kids. Plenty of a pastor’s roles often involve the children as well. Speaking occasions and house visitations often do not come without an invitation for the whole family. This can lead to erratic schedules for pastors’ kids very early on.