Whether you’re out on your first date, or your twenty-first, some behaviors just shouldn’t be overlooked. Of course, most of us do let a lot of things slide, holding onto hope that it’s just a one-time occurrence with someone we really like otherwise. And, at times, that might be the case. But, other times, some behaviors are indicators of much deeper problems. Problems you should never ignore. If you run into these, pay attention to the large red flag in your face and… Dump. Him. Now.
1. All Talk is Full of Sexual Innuendo
It’s one thing to flirt and make cute little comments. It’s entirely another thing to turn every single conversation into something that is sexually suggestive. Were you just having a conversation about the adorable puppy you saw on social media and he’s somehow turned that into something sexual? Men who continually refocus the conversation towards sexual connotations are trying to tell you something. In other words, if he seems like he’s only interested in one thing… he is.
2. He Expects You to Make Time for Him, and Only Him
I once dated a guy that lived more than an hour away. I took every opportunity I could to spend time with him, which wasn’t that much since I have a life of my own and three kids in my home. But, I tried. Still, no matter how much I tried, it was never enough. He couldn’t understand if I had a free moment and chose to be with my kids, or my mother, or even a girl’s night out. We only dated for a few weeks and yet he expected me to make all the accommodations, while making little of his own. I’m sorry. Is there a ring on it? No? Then you haven’t invested enough time to expect to be the top priority. Lesson learned.
3. He Doesn’t Return Calls or Texts in a Timely Manner
This may seem like a small thing. In fact, if you’re like me, you’ll try to convince yourself of many reasons why this might occur: He doesn’t want to seem too needy; he just doesn’t like to talk much; his cell service doesn’t allow but so many minutes/text messages and he might go over; he dropped his phone in hot lava and hasn’t been able to find the time to get another. Truth: It’s one of three things: 1. Disrespect 2. He’s not interested. 3. He’s seeing multiple women at once. Regardless, you don’t want any of those in your life. Move on.
4. He Doesn’t Remember Things You’ve Already Talked About
This is coming from a woman who can’t remember what she’s doing in most rooms she enters. And yet, I CAN seem to recall conversations I have with others in great detail because I enjoy most conversations I have and am very interested in what others have to say. If you’re dating someone who can’t seem to remember the things you say or stories you tell, dump him now. Chances are he’s just biding time. You are a distraction to him as he waits on someone he thinks better suits him. Because if you were his heart’s desire, he’d want to know you more than any other and would make the effort to do so. If he doesn’t find you memorable, build your memories elsewhere.
5. He Asks You Out but Flinches at Having to Pay
I’m a daughter of the 70s. I understand feminism. I do. I also think we take it too far at times. If I were to invite someone to my home for dinner, I wouldn’t expect them to bring their own food and cook the meal. If a man invites you on a date, but is awkward about who should pay… sorry guys… Dump. Him. Now. You are worth more than that, sweet friend. Good men have a deep desire to take care of the people they care about—it’s in their nature. If he doesn’t display that behavior over a simple meal? Don’t expect him to do so over the bigger things in life.
Some behaviors deserve to be overlooked for the simple fact that dating is hard and nerve-wracking. But other behaviors are clear indicators of deeper belief systems. If you continue in a relationship with someone who displays bad dating behavior, just know you are likely seeing them at their best during what is often a “honeymoon-like” stage. It will only compound later. In other words… say it with me… Dump. Him. Now.