Consequences of Premarital Sex in Marriage


Questions Arising From Premarital Sex

“I’m sure he’s having an affair and I’m leaving him.”
“Everyone he works with is young and pretty.”
“I should’ve known he’d be unfaithful when he had so many girlfriends before we were married.”
“She lived with someone. She probably wishes she had stayed with him.”
You’ve probably heard laments like the ones above from friends or family… or maybe you’ve made similar comments yourself. Marital mistrust and jealousy often emanates from a culture that accepts, and expects, sex outside of marriage. Today, few couples walk down the aisle sexually pure. In past generations, a white wedding dress and veil symbolized virginity, but no longer.
White wedding dress and veil- premarital sex
Our culture ridicules men and women who vow celibacy until their wedding night.  Virgins are now considered ‘weird’, and a man or woman not having sex is looked on as not normal. Rampant casual sex—hook ups, dating sex, friends with benefits, living together—reduces sex to lust, not love.
The world asks, “What’s love got to do with sex?” Even many Christians choose to be a part of the world rather than set apart for God. “So set yourselves apart to be holy, for I am the Lord your God.” Lev. 20:7 (NLT)
Morality has become so loose that even teenagers and high schoolers indulge in sexual activities of different kinds.
teenagers-dating-in-high-school-Premarital sex

Linking Premarital Sex With Cheating

Married couples who have had premarital sex—with each other or with others—know how easy sanctioned premarital sex is today. So the unspoken question lingers between them: Would my spouse ever cheat sexually, like he or she cheated before we were married?
lack of trust in marriage - premarital sex
Yes, I called premarital sex cheating because it robs a future spouse of one of the greatest joys and mysteries that God gifted to humans: experiencing sex as virgins on their wedding night. Does that sound old-fashioned? Not to God, the originator of sex and marriage:
“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Gen. 2:24
Notice it doesn’t say a man sleeps around before he finds a wife, who has already been with other men. No, the couple in Genesis 2:24 unite in marriage, then they have sex—“become one flesh.”
A husband or wife, who had premarital sex with others, became one flesh with those sex partners who now—emotionally, mentally, and spiritually— join the couple in their marriage bed.
Or maybe the couple had premarital sex with each other—cheating themselves of wedding night anticipation and discovery. They’ve already opened God’s precious, unifying gift of sex.
Premarital sex has become so commonplace that most couples never make the connection between premarital sex and marital problems, but there is a direct correlation. Often marital jealousy or suspicious allegations stem from worrying about a spouse making comparisons with previous sexual partners, thinking about them sexually, or feeling guilt over sexually sinning.
Without complete trust, there is no unity.