How Do You Identify A Real Man – From The Christian Perspective

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  • “Real men are those who are able to restrain their sexual desires,” Pastor Mensa Otabil says.
  • A real man is takes responsibility for his actions and curtails his sexual craving. 

    “A man must learn to restrain his sexual desires when he is becoming a man because when you are a teenager, your sexual instincts will become very wild, your mind will paint all kinds of pictures, your body will play havoc on you, your hormones are imbalanced, but what makes you a man is not just expressing what you feel, it is controlling what you feel, because people sometimes say: ‘Well, if you feel it do it…but that doesn’t show you as a man, it shows you as a person who has no self-control. So, why do we think that when it comes to sexual instincts, if you feel it and do it, you are a man? No. It means you don’t have self-control. …It’s one of the most nonsensical things I’ve ever heard,”

The process of becoming a man is learning to control your impulses. Things that are driving you hard, you learn to control it. …Unfortunately many boys never become men, they may grow in age and be 60 and they are still boys. They still play childish games.” 
“If you don’t learn to become a man and [you] become a husband, it becomes ‘the boy becomes a husband,’ but the normal process [is that] ‘a boy becomes a man [and] a man becomes a husband’. When you learn to become a husband, you learn to give of yourself. Marriage makes you grow through sharing, if you don’t know how to share, you are going to be in marriage and be selfish; anytime you are upset, you pick your toys and go into your room.
Instead of sharing your life, you just want to have fun. And there are some men who never grow, always having fun…meeting old school mates and having fun.”
A real man acts responsibly as a husband and father by spending time with his wife and kids at home instead of always fraternizing with friends and former classmates.

“You are not a boy, you are a man and you are a husband, stop playing! You did it when you were a teenager, now you are married to somebody… and you’ve put your name on her, she’s called ‘Mrs your name’. That’s a serious responsibility when somebody is called ‘your name’. You’ve overthrown her father, and you’ve taken her father’s place, so, you got to behave seriously. I mean somebody’s life investment has been put in your hands. Don’t take it easily. Don’t just say: ‘You are my wife’. Do you know what it means? It means you are going to share your money”.
When you become a father, you learn to live and give beyond yourself. When you marry, you give of yourself, when you have a child, you give beyond yourself. When you have a child, you know that life goes beyond you, children are the extension of yourself to the next generation, but they are also going to demand from you more than you think you are capable of. …To be a man is not easy, I mean you can’t bring a child into the world and say: ‘Oh, as for me, I like babies!’ They [babies] are expensive; for your information they cost money.”