There are so many blogs and articles out there geared toward girls and women on praying for their future spouses, but almost none geared specifically toward men… so we thought we’d help fill that gap a bit and offer a little advice for single guys on how to pray for your future wife as you navigate the single life.
Being a single guy in Los Angeles, I’ve had my fair share of relationship highs and lows over the years. Beautiful women are abundant in this place, probably more so than any other city in the world. They’re at every street corner, every coffee shop, every bar, and of course… in every casting office. Makes me think of a famous line written by the 18th century English poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge, which says: “Water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink.”
This city has an overabundance of beautiful women, but that doesn’t mean that most of them are suitable for you to bring home and introduce to your Mama. In LA, and in many other places, it can seem to be a daunting task to not only find a great gal, but one who also happens to be a great fit for you as well. So… how do we solve this dilemma? How do we find the right woman for us? Through my dating and relationship experiences, I’ve realized one thing: I’m never going to find the right woman for me if I take on this seemingly monumental task on my own. After my last relationship ended, leaving my mind and heart wounded, I realized I needed to change my entire approach. Sure, I’ve prayed many times for my future wife over the years, even prayed for attributes that I hoped she would have, what she might be like, etc etc… but as I’ve been growing deeper into my faith this year especially, I realized that my approach to these prayers needed a shift.
In the book of Genesis, God tells us “It is not good for man to be alone.” Proverbs also tells us “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.” But more importantly, Matthew 6:33 tells us to “Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Admittedly, this last verse is the one that I had not been focusing on so much these past few years. Like many of us single men, I’ve been focusing on seeking after what I thought my heart wanted and burned a lot of energy by looking all over the place to try and find the right woman for me. I think like many of us, I haven’t fully trusted God or His timing. I’ve tried to rush Him along. I’ve tried to help him out along the way, and I haven’t always made Him the focus of where I chose to seek.
Psalm 37:4 says “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
We can rest in knowing that He put those desires for a wife on our hearts, so this is indeed something good that He wants for us. The root of the word “desire” actually means “of the Father”, which tells us the root of our healthy desires come from our Heavenly Father. God knows what I need, and what you need; better than we even know for ourselves. We should have peace in knowing that whatever great plan we think we have cooked up for our lives, God has something (and someone) even better for us if we just trust in Him and seek Him first.
As you begin to pray for your future wife, choose to commit your life to seeking God first, and you will start to feel the pressure and the burden of looking for the right girl lift off your shoulders. He will bring His perfect desire to pass in your life. As long as your eyes are on Him first, He won’t steer you in the wrong direction. The more you focus on Him, the more obvious His will for you and your future wife will become. He’ll give you the discernment so that you’ll know it when you meet her. I’ve prayed and asked Him to take away the burden of trying to find the right girl on my own, and have asked Him to bring the right woman across my path in His timing. Since I’ve given that task back to Him, life has just felt a lot brighter, and quite frankly, it’s been a lot more fun too. I’ve also noticed that the more I seek Him and take delight in Him, I’ve begun to forget that I’m actually single. I used to think about my singleness and loneliness quite often (which is probably what sent me chasing after the wrong girls to begin with), but ever since I started genuinely focusing on seeking Him, I’ve found that I’m really enjoying this “bro time” with just God and I until He brings the right woman for me.
As single men, we will one day be married and eventually have children to raise, which means that we will have lots of new responsibilities and our time will be focused heavily on our families. So while you have the time now, take advantage of this moment to get to know God more, and I imagine you will experience a new found happiness and peace just like I have been experiencing. So as you pray for your soon-to-be wife to come into your life, just pray for God’s perfect will and timing in this and I guarantee He won’t let you down. I’m believing in this for my own life, and I fully expect God to deliver on His promises for me, as He will for you.