Love… It looks so easy from the outside, doesn’t it?
“We met in youth group last summer at this picnic in the park,” your best friend says of her chance encounter with Mr. Right. “He was playing football with the guys and fell onto our blanket. Man, was I happy he was out of bounds!”
Your older sister recalls, “We were lab partners in chemistry. Somewhere between the first assignment and lighting the Bunsen burner, he asked me out. We’ve been together ever since.”
Love stories are a dime a dozen in high school. People seem to effortlessly couple up all around you. Meanwhile, you’ve got the opposite problem. You are madly in love with someone who doesn’t know you exist. The one you live and breathe for is right before your eyes yet so far away.
The crush… It’s terrifying and thrilling all at once. Everything would be great if only he knew, right?
I’m teetering at the end of my 20s, and I’d like to tell you that this gets easier with age. But sadly, it doesn’t. The same nervous/nauseous feeling you get when he passes by you in the hallway is exactly the same whether you’re 15 or 25.
Luckily, you can turn a crush around in your favor. You’ve just got to know a few secrets to get his attention.
Check His Crushability
Before you do anything, evaluate if this is someone worth crushing on. I’ve been attracted to a guy, spent 10 minutes in his presence and was absolutely repulsed by his personality. Ask around. Who are his friends? Does he go to church? You can save yourself a lot of time and heartache if you do a little research.
Sometimes all you have to do is observe. How does he act towards people who aren’t as popular as he is? Is he nice or a jerk? Very simple gestures say a lot about someone’s character. Be sure he’s a good guy before you decide to let your feelings take over.
Do Not Chase Him
I know it’s tempting. If you’re like me, you can be a bit of an overachiever. When we see something we want, we go for it. However, we have to restrain ourselves from asking guys out and making our intentions too obvious.
Society makes it look like women who ask men out are empowered, but nothing could be further from the truth. Overly eager actions smack of desperation, and that’s a major turn-off. Guys like a challenge. Anything gotten too easily won’t be worth keeping in the long run.
I can tell you from firsthand experience that when a guy really wants you, he will go through fire to get your phone number. They love it. Don’t ask me why. It’s a Brave-heart thing.
Modesty = Mystery = He’ll Want to Know More
Lots of girls will tell you to show a little leg or cleavage to catch a guy’s attention. It works. He’ll notice you all right, but for all the wrong reasons.
It’s no secret that boys are visually stimulated. If you show off all your goodies, then that’s all he’ll think you’re good for. Instead of seeing you as an intelligent, gorgeous girl, he’ll be preoccupied with what you look like naked.
There are plenty of ways to dress hot without exposing yourself. So leave a little to the imagination. The more he has to hunt, the more he’ll want to know.
Be a Friend
Someone once told me that the best way to make friends is to be a friend. A smile and a “hi” can go a long way. I know it’s hard to fathom when you can barely breathe around him, but try to focus. Sitting next to him in algebra before class starts is a perfect time to turn, smile, and say, “Hey, how’s it going?” It’s called “breaking the ice”.
I know a lot of people who lament being friends with someone they’re romantically interested in, but that’s the best place to start. Trust me. Sixty years from now, it’s the friendship that will lead you into the golden, wrinkly, saggy years of marriage.
Try the Group Thing
Ever since I Kissed Dating Goodbye came out, I’ve always thought that group dates were lame. How in the world can you get to know someone with three of his friends hanging around? But when it comes to crushes, this is a fantastic way to get to know him in a less pressured situation. His circle of friends plus yours create a comfort zone. You’ll both be in your element.
If you get a chance to participate in anything where he’ll be involved, go! Try it out. Expand beyond what you’ve always done and join a new club. If he doesn’t end up working out, you may discover a love for a new subject or sport you never tried before.
Get a Life and Live it
Nothing is more attractive than someone who fully embraces her life. Let him see you hanging out with your friends, singing in the choir, or doing whatever you do best. If he sees how much you enjoy yourself, perhaps he’ll want to join in the fun.
Be God’s Girl
You can’t forget that you are first and foremost God’s girl. You are the delight of His creation, and He loves you. The safest place to fall in love is in the Father’s arms. So put your trust and faith in Him. He promises that He’ll never leave you lonely (Hebrews 13:5).
So whether or not this guy ever gets a clue as to how wonderful you are, you can rest in the fact that there is a Heavenly Father who moved heaven and earth to be with you. It’s the crush of a lifetime, and it lasts for all eternity.
Credit: Jennifer E. Jones