Contentment with being alone involves learning how to be fulfilled in your singleness. A truly single person is one who is complete physically, emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually without dependence upon anyone else. Successful singles and their personal identity and sense of wholeness within themselves and in relationship with God. Because they are complete within themselves, only whole individuals are fully comfortable being alone. They can thrive and prosper whether or not they are involved in a relationship. For such people a relationship is an added blessing; it is icing on the cake.
A truly single person is one who is complete physically, emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually without dependence upon anyone else.
A whole person is one who has, first of all, a healthy self-concept. Many people struggle with feelings of inferiority and self-hatred. Such a person will have problems in any relationship. Healthy self-love is critically important to personal wholeness because it affects every other relationship. Someone once asked Jesus what was the greatest commandment of all.
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matt. 22:37-40, emphasis added).
Our first responsibility is to love God with our whole being.
Because He first loved us, we are able to love Him and, in turn, love ourselves in the sense of having a positive self-image as someone who is loved and valued by God. If we do not love ourselves, it will be difficult for us to love others, or even to relate to them properly.
Secondly, a whole person has a clear and solid faith.
When we know what we believe and why we believe it, when we know what the Word of God says and are committed to obeying it, and when we have a good grasp of God’s standards for our personal lives and are determined to live by them, we are well on our way to wholeness.
A third characteristic of wholeness is growing one’s own roots.
To grow your own roots means to have your focus of motivation and control within yourself rather than in other people. Many people allow others to control their lives. They dress to please other people, they buy what others are buying, and they think the way others think. Uncertain and uncomfortable with their own thoughts and ideas, they simply acquiesce to the thoughts and ideas of others. Whole people are self-motivated, internally directed, comfortable with themselves, and rooted firmly enough to stand strong and confident in the values they live by, even if at times they seem to be standing alone.
-Waiting and Dating: A Sensible Guide to A Fulfilling Relationship