Being alone as a single person has many advantages, especially for a believer. One of the greatest of these is the opportunity to give undivided attention to the pursuit of spiritual growth and a deep relationship with the Lord. Married people, even committed believers, must divide their time and attention between spiritual pursuits and the everyday demands and challenges of married life. In his first letter to the believers in Corinth, Paul made that very point in describing the value of singleness:
Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.…
I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord (1 Cor. 7:26-28;32-35).
Paul’s counsel to singles is to use this time in your life to pursue “the Lord’s affairs,” to grow in “undivided devotion” to Him.
Unfettered by the ties of marriage or other serious relationships, single people are free to concern themselves wholly with the things of God.
Make the most of this time in your life. Learn to grow deep with God and to love Him by yourself first. Don’t be in a rush to get into a relationship. Get your spiritual roots firmly embedded in God now, because once you get seriously involved with another person, particularly in a marriage relationship, your time and attention will be divided between that person and your devotion and service to God. Work to develop yourself fully as a single person.
Learn to be like Adam; get completely lost in God today. Become so consumed by God that He will have to interrupt you to bring another person into your life. Think of singleness as a blessing and a perfect opportunity for character development. You will have fewer distractions, a single-minded commitment, and a more open attitude because you will not be pressured by the need to please anyone except God.
Become so consumed by God that He will have to interrupt you to bring another person into your life.
Learn to be an asset first.
You should be preoccupied with preparing yourself for whomever God is preparing for you. Most people are so busy looking for the one God has prepared for them that they fail to prepare themselves for that person. Don’t make that mistake. Use this time in life to prepare yourself.
True singleness is a sign of spiritual and emotional maturity.
When you can be alone and enjoy it, you are a self-confident and self-aware person. You are well adjusted, not needing other people’s approval to feel okay about yourself. It means that you have your act together and are ready for a deeper relationship. You have discovered and accepted who you are and can now truly give and share yourself with others. You are ready to relate (effectively).
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