Letters to Auntie Joe – She’s Insecure!

Dear Auntie Joe,

My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 months, and we are preparing to begin counselling as we plan towards our marriage next year. Recently, we went to a shop to get something and met one of my female colleagues at work. She came to say hello to us and left. My girlfriend’s mood changed afterwards and was quiet throughout our journey back.

I have devoted my time and love to her, and have gone all lengths to show her I love her. But she seems insecure around me. And when it happens like that, she doesn’t talk to me for days. Won’t pick my calls or respond to my messages. What else can I do to assure her of my love for her? Does it mean I shouldn’t have friends or talk to other females?

—- Concerned man


Dear Concerned Man,

One thing I have come to understand is that men see things differently from women and in this your situation, it is possible there is a subtle body language that she picks up but you don’t. Some comment, some eyeing, or just a handshake or reaction could cause her to wonder if she is safe. Find out from her what exactly you do around other women that make her insecure.

Do you introduce her properly? Do you go out of your way to make her feel like the queen she is to you? Do you ignore her or have side conversations with these people?

On the other hand, if it is a general phobia she has, that can also be addressed by your counsellor or pastor.

It will be good to get her side of the story and take it seriously if you truly love her, so you can save your relationship.

God be with you!


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