When we choose to forgive, we are loving our wives. We also love our wives when we use words to nourish them, just like how Christ uses His words to cleanse and wash us, the church.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word
How does Jesus purify us when we feel condemned, guilty or depressed? He speaks to us, through a pastor, sermon CD or the Bible. He uses His words to make us feel clean—“that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle”. (Ephesians 5:27) He doesn’t use His words to make us feel dirty or guilty. He says things like, “You are all fair, my love, and there is no spot in you.” (Song of Solomon 4:7)
Husbands, likewise, love your wives with your words. Tell her how good she looks in that dress. Praise her for the meal she cooked.
But the problem is that we guys don’t like to communicate with our wives. Women like to speak up, but guys just keep it all bottled up!
Some of you may think that just because I am a pastor who preaches four services every Sunday, I communicate a lot with Wendy. It’s not true. When I go home, I become like any ordinary man. In fact, because I have already spoken so much in church, my tongue says, “Give me a sofa!”
As I am lying on my sofa and watching TV, Wendy sits down beside me and says, “Darling, did you think of me today?”
I say, “Yeah, I’m sure you crossed my mind today.”
Men, you know that that’s not what she wants to hear! I should have said, “Yes, I did think of you, darling, and honestly, when I thought of you, my heart felt so warm. I am so glad I am married to you.”
You are being truthful because we men do think of our wives in that way during the day. But we need to speak and say it in their language of love. We need to nourish them with our words.
-Secrets of Manly Leadership