See, there’s really no manual to training your kids. What works for A might not work for B.
I was beaten as a kid, and while sometimes I feel like it helped make me who I am, I have thought about it, and I am convinced the beatings were unnecessary most of the time. Whatever message they hoped to pass could’ve been passed across without the whip. Or all those hurtful words …
You see, I was a very good kid (I think, especially when you consider my background/environment); always first in class, went to church almost everyday – Choir practice, Bible-Study teacher, etc., never ever stole or cheat anyone, never did most of those mischievous things kids did, etc. In summary, I was a curious kid who read a lot, liked playing football (the reason I was beaten most times), and was content with everything I had at that time.
I remember the worst beating my dad gave me. One evening, on his way back from work, he caught me in a game-center watching people play PS One. I was also wearing a bandana, had an earing I had glued on my left ear on. He dragged me by that ear to the house, and after the beating, I ached for days. (I think that’s one of the reasons I’m not crazy about computer games).
The worst beating my mom gave me was after I finished secondary school. I had gone to help some lady manage her phone-call and recharge card business (aka, an umbrella stand by the street). Mom sent for me and when I got home she was wielding a plank. She asked why I went to help someone else when she had a shop I could be at. Mind you, I had 4 siblings and 2 relatives in the house, and we all took turns being in her shop. I was about to mention that when she raised the plank up. In my mind, she couldn’t hit me with that. I was so confident I didn’t duck or block when it landed on my shoulder. I was numb as she hit me a few more times. The next day, I packed a couple things and left the house. (Another day we’ll talk about where I went and how my journey to independence started).
I thought being beaten was normal (spare the rod and spoil the child disciple) till I lived with my aunt in Ijanikin. It was shocking. She and her husband NEVER touched any of their kids. They barely even shouted at them – a quick reprimand, or calm scolding was all it took to reset their ‘ways’, and today they are some of the most decent and best-behaved ladies I have ever seen. And oh, they are all successful too – from a thriving businesswoman to a banker, a medical doctor, and the last, an MBA scholar in the USA.
I have seen very badly behaved folks who lack home training, and probably got that way because they were never beaten (or disciplined) as kids.
I have seen kids who were beaten, and the beating shaped their lives, guided their steps and made them successful today.
I have also seen people who were beaten till they got used to it (or not) and still turned out horribly.
I personally will reserve the whip for very very rare situations where talking, punishment or any other non-physical method won’t help. I seriously doubt this opportunity to be a barbarian and treat my kids like animals will ever arise sha.
SOURCE: CHIDI OKEREKE