Good men are hard to find, says the old cliché. But should that be the case? Well, maybe this cliché is warranted because man has deviated from his primary role (purpose) as far as the family and nation building is concern.
In Dr. Myles Munroe’s teaching on the Qualities of a good man, he tried to explain the Biblical role of the Man, his qualities and how he can give full expression of these qualities especially in these modern times.
Before we delve into the real issues, there are some facts that are now prevalent in this era which must be understood before we make any progress with the subject matter. Notably,
Man must first of all understand that the times where women were only confined to the home –i.e taking care of children, household chores and generally being in charge of home but having very little say in the home in terms of decision making are long gone. Now, women have also become career oriented and sometimes own as much as the man, if not more. Life for men and women therefore has changed. We are no longer utterly dependent on each other for security and survival, the rules have changed. For the first time in recorded history, we (husband and wife) look to each other primarily for love and romance and not for survival as it used to be. Hence, happiness, intimacy and lasting passion are now the requirements for relationships.
In times past, the man comes home from work expecting nothing but food served hot and a bucket of water to bathe after. It takes a good man to understand and handle well the changing times we are in. Today, both go to work, come home almost the same time and both are tired. Household duties are no longer the preoccupation of the woman. Why? Because we live in a different world now.
In days gone by the rules of engagement between a man and a woman was as it were, cast in stone. The daily routine was mundane, the woman cooks, takes care of the house and makes herself available for sex etc. These times are long gone. Unfortunately, man has grown over the years still carrying the same old ideology of a union between man and woman. It is interesting to know that the modern woman is no more obsessed with material stuff. The rules of engagement has changed, hence the ‘modalities of communication.’ Women constantly want to be communicated to but because of the man’s archaic mindset, he prefers to hide behind the television, music, sports etc. but guess what?
A woman’s first need is affection and second most important need is to have a conversation with her man. The woman needs romance. She wants the man to sit with her, hold her hands for hours talking, but the man finds no value in that and sees it as demanding, he doesn’t want to spend his time talking. For these reasons and more, the transition from the old ideology to the new one that suits today’s woman has put the man under serious pressure to respond to a demand he was not trained to satisfy and so, often seeks comfort from friends and outside influences just to avoid the constant demand for conversation.
The good news is that, a good man has the ability to communicate with his wife. Note that when a woman asks a question, she doesn’t really want an answer but rather a discussion from her man. When a woman brings a problem, she doesn’t sometimes need a solution but rather wants to talk about it or converse with her husband. A good man has the patience to accommodate this particular need of the wife and to listen to her.