Have you ever felt like you were alone? Have you ever felt like God was distant? Silent? Have you felt like He’s just simply ignoring you no matter how much you’ve prayed or how hard you’ve cried out? Do you feel like giving up because you’re too exhausted to continue moving forward? You are doing everything you can to show God’s love everywhere you go. You pray, fast, declare, decree, worship, speak faith filled words, rebuke demons, and still there no answer from God.
One of the most difficult things I had to do when chaos surrounded me and feelings of hopelessness enveloped me like a dark cloud, was surrendering everything to an almighty, all sovereign God whom I felt wasn’t listening to me anymore. When my hopes and dreams were shattered and nothing I did seemed to work, I felt like quitting. In frustration, I simply threw my hands up and decided I could not take another day of this madness in my life. I felt like I had made such a mess of my life and there was no possibility of restoration. Friends surrounded me with love, hugs, and prayer… and I still felt hopeless. It was hard for me to conceptualize the reality that maybe this is it for me and nothing more, especially after trusting, believing, and striving for so long.
I watched sermons, read my Bible, prayed harder, and it was all met with utter silence. A silence that only reinforced the feelings I had growing up. My soul wounds resurfaced even stronger because I felt that God had turned His back like the others who had wounded me years ago. I felt worthless, insignificant, and simply unimportant, and now God’s silence was only magnifying this in my life. I questioned Him relentlessly, asking what I had done so egregious that made Him turn His back on me. I began to question every action, every thought, just about everything I had ever done in my life, asking for forgiveness. Still, I heard nothing from above.
I suddenly came to the realization that I was thinking way too much about nothing, and as a result, inviting more of nothing into my life. I realized that I was placing too much emphasis on lack and what was wrong, than right. Whatever we dwell on is what we attract more of. So with this epiphany, I decided to shift my focus on the simple fact that everything I was asking God to do had already been done in the spiritual realm, and all I had to do was relax this sinful flesh long enough to be able to receive it at the right time. I realized that there is nothing we can do to manipulate this all knowing all sovereign God who has already mapped out and planned every detail of our lives. I realized that I did not have to beg, plead, nor become discouraged, because His will had already been established in my life. I just needed to keep trusting and believing, with patience, until His plan unfolded.
By the time I understood all of this, I was exhausted mentally. I felt emotionally depleted as if I lacked the mental capacity to absorb another lesson. And then I realized that sometimes God will sit back and allow us to wear ourselves out long enough until we come to the very end of ourselves and realize that His grace is sufficient in whatever circumstances we are facing. He wants us to be still and know that He is God all by Himself. He has given us a portion of grace and mercy to meet us right where we are, and the only thing we have to do is to have a grateful heart. We need to just simply surrender everything over to His will, His plan, His way, and then offer up praise and thanksgiving for all that He’s done and all that He is going to do.
We worry too much about what people are doing to us, what they think of us, our circumstances, how we look, bills, money, and the cares of this life to the point where we lose focus on the source that has all the answers to all of these things. When we change our focus and place it on things that inspire us, we begin to see the manifestation of God’s goodness and mercies begin to show up in our lives like never before.
When we dwell on the goodness and promises of God instead of focusing on what we can see with the natural eye, is when things begin to shift in our favor. There is an appointed time and season for everything. God has not forgotten about you, He just simply wants you to lift your hands in praise and thanksgiving and trust Him with your life and all that’s in it.
If we dwell on everything which is God, then everything we need begins to show up at the right time. God is definitely up to something when everything appears dark, when people turn their back on us, when we lose jobs, when we are betrayed, when our children are wayward and disrespectful, and when we are rejected and abandoned.
Whatever you are facing is nothing new to God, and He has already provided an answer. He is right there with you in the middle of your mess, and He will continue to provide everything that you need. It’s time to start praising Him for what he has already done. Never stop praying. The best way to fight is on your knees.
Testimony by: Carmen Love